Friday Sermon: Matrimonial Alliances and Issues

 Huzur (aba) delivered his sermon today on matrimonial problems that are a growing concern, and issues that emerge in the search for suitable matches and he gave advice on resolving these problems.

Huzur said that the family ties between boys and girls and the domestic issues that arise between a husband and wife are such that they can cause anxiety and apprehension in the atmosphere at home. This can become a cause of concern for not only the couple, but it can also be a source of anxiety for both sets of parents.

Huzur (aba) stated that he receives letters on a daily basis in which it is written that certain parents fail to marry off their daughter citing the reason that she is currently studying, even though she is of marital age. Then, when she eventually marries a suitor, they are unable to form any sort of understanding due to their mature age and eventually the marriage ends in divorce.

Another issue that is faced by girls is that their friends, or on occasions the girl's parents instil into the girl that in these countries women have a lot of rights, therefore the girl should make the husband accept her demands. Huzur (aba) states that it is unfortunate that on seeing the freedoms and luxuries of these countries, even girls who come from Pakistan start making unreasonable demands.

Huzur (aba) stated that some boys who have special friendships and are interested in another person but are too afraid to mention this fact to their parents end up marrying one of their cousins or family friends in Pakistan. Then after some time they begin to torment the innocent girl and commit injustices towards her. Huzur (aba) states that in cases such as these ultimately it is the children who suffer the most and are affected mentally and psychologically.

Huzur (aba) stated that the key to resolve all of these issues can be found if one turns towards faith. We are fortunate to have accepted Islam and have the blessings of the teachings given to us by the Promised Messiah (as). One of those teachings is to give precedence to faith over all worldly pursuits. When it comes to the matter of marriage, even those who are serving the faith forget this key principle, whereas the Holy Prophet (sa) specifically instructed that when dealing with matters of marriage one must always give precedence to faith over all worldly matters. Hazrat Khalifatul Masih I (ra) stated that the first step Islam has mentioned in regards to a Nikah [Islamic marriage] is that the purpose of the Nikah should be to strengthen ones faith instead of searching for beauty, wealth and status. Similarly before one enters into a marriage they should perform Istikharah [Prayer to seek the best outcome of any matter].

The verses of the Holy Quran which are recited during the Nikah ceremony draw our attention towards prayers. Moreover, at the time of the Nikah, the Holy Prophet (sa) used to recite a prayer seeking blessings for the newlywed couple. Thus, marriages should be settled by praying for what is best for both parties and seeking the blessings of Allah the Almighty. However, certain people from Pakistan and India are still under the influence of their cultural practises and give priority to cast and family when selecting partners for marriage whereas Allah the Almighty states that precedence should be given to one's faith.

Indeed, one should take into consideration the proposals from within one's family but even then it is not compulsory. The Promsied Messiah (as) was also once asked in regards to the proposals from one's own family and the Promised Messiah (as) said that it is better to settle the marriage within one's family if a suitable match is available but it is not compulsory to do so.

At times, women are reproached and given taunts for not bringing enough dowry. Such people need to look at the blessed model of the Holy Prophet (sa) in the regard and how he married off his daughters by adopting simplicity when gifting the dowry. Similarly, the family of the bride should not place undue burden upon themselves and only gift what they can easily afford... Read Full Summary Here